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When Summer Begins and The Sun Sets | The Hums In Our Heads

 

 

 


When summer begins the weather grows warmer, your mood may lift; and overall, life becomes a little better. The days grow longer, life flourishes. Summer is almost perfect. Except when the sun goes down, well for me at least. Your long pants become shorts or skirts or dresses. It becomes bikini weather. Instagram becomes filled with friends hanging out together. And that’s when the insecurities start.


Summer for me isn’t perfect. It’s a mix of emotions that leave me feeling all sorts. It might be the same for you. My insecurities eat at me, especially when it comes to wearing shorts and bathers. Why? Well, I’m unhappy with who I am, it’s just my insecurities talking. All of a sudden I’m sucked into wanting the “dream” body. My thighs are too large and chafe, my belly isn’t sculpted, I don’t hang out with friends due to my job; and sometimes these things eat at me. 


Summer isn’t necessarily a good time for me even if I want it to be. I work at a pool and so whenever I’m working I see groups of friends hanging out, I need to wear shorts, and it’s incredibly easy to compare my body to others who seem incredibly happy.


When the sun sets I no longer feel confident. I come home from work and the fake smile disappears. I don’t get to have a “summer” as such, I make sure others stay safe while having theirs. Don’t get me wrong, I love my job, but it’s the insecurities of summer…


I feel disgusted in myself, even more so that I let my insecurities ruin my mood.


But this summer I want things to be different. I want to enjoy it, even when the sun goes down. I want to feel confident and I want to feel like me. When summer begins and the sun sets, my mind races with negative thoughts, but when summer comes around again I hope for it to race with positive thoughts...

 

 

How does summer make you feel? Let us know in the comments below!

 

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